


Night Changes

by StayGoldenNialler (XiaoPanda)



Category: One Direction (Band), nick grimshaw - Fandom
Genre: Bed-Wetting, Comfort, Consensual Sex, Crying, Daddy Kink, Diapers, Forced Infantalism, Forced diapering, Insecurity, Kidnapping, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, OT5, Omorashi, Pacifiers, Piss Play, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, Urine, Watersports, Wetting, a whole lot of non-con involving pretty much everything but sex, bathroom use control, bottle feeding, consent between the boys only, forced mommy kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:28:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4419446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XiaoPanda/pseuds/StayGoldenNialler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In just one night, everything changes.</p><p>Once Harry's alone, they take him, and now the other four are left trying to hold themselves together so that whenever Harry comes home - because he IS coming home - he'll be able to feel safe again. </p><p>OR</p><p>One Direction forms an unusual family in the absence of their youngest member, just waiting for him to come home.</p><p>OR</p><p>Niall is a little, soon Harry will be too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Accidents

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me for this, I know it seems weird and disjointed already, but it's going to come together.

Harry rolled, his eyes heavy with sleep, and his eyes flicked open tiredly. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and groaned. It was 4 AM - the only time Harry saw 4 AM was when Nick decided to drag him out around London, so why the hell was he awake?

He rolled back over and put his hand down in an absolute _puddle_.

“What the fuck..” He mumbled, bringing his hand to his nose and sniffing. That was definitely piss, but Harry was quite certain it wasn’t his own. He touched the front of his sleep pants with his other hand just to be sure, and despite being fully aware that the ass of his pants were soaked, the front was dry. Definitely not his. “Who-”

“H-Haz…”

It was the single most terrified word he’d ever heard, and he turned his head quickly, seeing Niall staring at him, his eyes wide and brimming with tears. It took Harry a moment to remember that he and Niall had agreed to share a bed the night before, when they had somehow gotten stuck in a two bed hotel room with a pull out couch. Paul was so dead for this, but Harry had a bit more pressing of an issue to deal with.

Niall looked like he was physically crumbling as he waited for a response from Harry, and Harry didn’t know what response he was supposed to give. He didn’t have a whole lot of experience waking up in a puddle of urine, be it his own or someone else’s, and despite his height advantage over...well, everyone, he was still the youngest one there.

“I..I’ll get Louis to help.” Harry said, and Niall closed his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks as he continued to sit in his mess. Harry couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t getting up, but he didn’t comment, just went to the other bed and shook Louis’ arm gently, hoping he wouldn’t wake Liam in the process. Of course, that little wish was stomped into nothing when Liam sat bolt up, gasping so loud it startled Harry.

“What the _fuck_ Hazza-” Liam started, and Zayn groaned from the couch.

“Guys, shut it, I’m trying to-” Zayn started, and Niall let out a pathetic little sob, silencing everyone.

“Ni?” Louis’ voice was soft as he slipped out of his bed and went to check on the second-youngest member of their group. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I-it was an _accident_.” Niall sobbed out, and Liam flicked on a light so they could see better.

The white of the blankets was stained yellow straight through, and when Niall saw how bad it was he completely melted down, pressing his face into his hands. Again, there was silence save for Niall’s crying, and it took a moment for Liam to step up, going to the bed and pulling the blanket off of Niall’s soaked lower half and then scooping him up and going straight to the bathroom. Louis chewed his lip in concern for a moment before stripping the bed, shaking his head a little bit.

“D...d’ya think he’ll be alright?” Harry asked, looking toward the bathroom, and Louis blinked for a moment before nodding.

“It’s not the first time.” Louis explained. “Just hasn’t happened in a while. Liam and I used to take care of him on it, but he didn’t want you lads knowing.”

“I don’t understand.” Harry pressed, and Zayn sighed.

“It’s not your business to understand, Haz.” Zayn said, and Louis wound his arms around Harry before he could get too worked up.

“It’s fine. It won’t be a big thing if we don’t make a big thing out of it.” Louis said. “Niall had a bedwetting problem when he was younger, and it still acts up when he’s very stressed out. That’s all it is. It’s just a thing - like Zayn sneaking off to smoke and you crying when you think no one will notice. It’s a thing we all know is going on, but we pretend no one does.”

Zayn snorted and got up. “I don’t run off to smoke to hide from you lads. I do it to get some time alone.” He said, reaching for his jacket and pulling the pack out, waving it in front of Louis’ face and then heading for the door. “Maybe when I get back you’ll have stopped spilling everyone’s secrets, though.”

Louis sighed, hugging Harry a little closer before sighing. “You’ll probably want the shower when Liam’s done calming Niall.” He said softly, and Harry flushed. He’d forgotten about his own pants being wet.

* * *

 

When Harry finally stepped out of the bathroom he found that Niall had curled up with Liam and Louis, leaving Zayn alone on the couch and the other bed entirely empty and stripped. Harry was at a loss, and eventually he went and curled up in the chair near the couch, not wanting to bother the others. He curled up as tight as he could, slipping his thumb nail in between his teeth and resting his head on the back of the chair, but he knew he couldn’t sleep without a blanket, so it was a lost cause anyway.

He dug out his phone, texting Nick and not considering if he was awake or not. He just needed someone to talk to who wasn’t going to be mad at him for waking the lads up - and he very much got the impression that they were all mad at him for one reason or another regarding what had happened. He sent a quick ‘hey’ and rubbed under his eye - just because Louis had called him out on his crying didn’t mean he wanted to do it tonight.

Harry’s phone buzzed and he picked it up, glancing at the mirrored ‘Hey’ and he _meant_ to reply with ‘What’s up?’ and instead typed ‘Am I bad friend?’, and when he hit send he got up, knowing he wasn’t going to sleep anyway even though he was so, so, tired. He pulled on his shoes and left the room, not even thinking to grab his key card because his phone was buzzing more insistently now, and Harry had to get out before he took Nick’s call.

“Hey.” He whispered, once in the hall, and he wondered if he sounded as miserable as he felt. He refused to give any details, just said he had accidentally exposed one of Niall’s secrets, and felt like everyone was angry at him, and Nick did his best to calm Harry down, though he was more than a little miffed that it was barely 5 AM where Harry was, but noon in London, and he was the one comforting his friend across a seven hour time difference. It wasn’t all too often Harry claimed that he just wanted to go home, but this was one of those times.

Eventually Harry settled, after nearly an hour on the phone, and apologized for bothering Nick about something so stupid. He hung up the phone and tucked it in his pocket, and while he was definitely feeling better he still wasn’t feeling up to the task of going back into the hotel room, so he went outside to go for a walk instead. 

* * *

“Wake up, come on. We’ve got a show to do tonight.” Paul said, shaking the bed and startling Niall awake for a grand total of three seconds before promptly flopping back down, his eyes closing heavily. “No, Niall, we need to get up now. Where’s Harry?”

“Harry?” Louis mumbled, looking around the room quietly for a long moment before frowning. “Bathroom, maybe?”

“Bathroom door is wide open, he’s not in here.” Liam said, getting out of the bed and grabbing his phone, dialing the youngest members phone as he pulled on his pants. After three rings, the call disconnected. “Weird...phone must be acting up. Zayn, try yours.”

Zayn frowned but did as he was told, his entire face displaying how not in the mood for this shit he was. He got to the second ring before he heard the line pick up, and he put the phone on speaker right away so someone else could yell at him, but the voice that came through wasn’t Harry’s.

“Don’t call this number anymore.” It was a girls voice, and there was silence for a moment before they heard a muffled shout and what sounded like the phone being dropped. Zayn’s eyes went wide, and he stared at the phone in his hand for a long moment before they heard something else. Faintly, like it was far from the phone - “Let me go!”

Definitely Harry.

“Hazza?” Niall called, and there was a scraping sound before the girl came back, breathless.

“He’s going to stay with me now.” She said, and the line went dead.


	2. Meltdowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to work out the mechanics of this website. I'm only briefly getting into things for now, I've been sick and I started a new job. I've been very tired.

Harry wasn’t aware, exactly, of how he’d gotten to...wherever he was. He was walking down the street, minding his own business, when he felt something hit the back of his head. He’d crumpled, passing out, and woken up in this room - he was pretty sure it was a basement.

 

He was in a bed with safety rails on either side, like he was at risk of falling or something. He didn’t think it was very bloody likely that he would fall, though, given that his wrists were tied to the bars of the headboard. He wanted very much to scream bloody murder and have someone come and find him - he wasn’t stupid, and he knew he’d been kidnapped - but there was something strapped around his face keeping a rubber _thing_ in his mouth, and if he thought too hard about that, he knew exactly what _i_ t was, too.

 

When his phone started ringing from nearby, Harry nearly lost it. He recognized Liam’s ringtone right away, and he knew he needed to answer it. He was trying like hell to get his hands free so he could reach for the damned thing, but he was getting nowhere fast, and there was a girl there, suddenly, pulling the phone from his pocket, picking up, and then hanging up.

 

“Naughty baby. You don’t need to have phone calls.” She said softly, shaking her head. A moment later it started ringing again, Zayn’s ringtone this time, and she sighed. “I’ll get rid of them, alright? Then Nanny can take care of her little one.” She said, smiling, and Harry shook his head, watching helplessly as she took the call. “Don’t call this number anymore.”

 

Harry flipped out, struggling hard against his restraints and shouting, and she dropped his phone, rushing over to him and pinning her hands on his shoulders. He thrashed harder against his restraints, shaking his head and managing to catch the edge of the thing strapped to his head on the ropes pinning his hands down, and then spit the rubber thing out when it came loose.

 

“Let me go!” He screamed at her, his wrists rubbing raw from the rope, and she pressed a heavy, damp cloth over Harry’s face. It wasn’t enough to knock him out, and he struggled enough that the bed scraped against the concrete floor, but it definitely calmed him down, and she went to pick up the phone again, breathless.

 

“He’s going to stay with me now.” She said, and hung up the phone before smashing it on the floor and looking at Harry. Her expression softened when she saw the tears slipping from the corners of his eyes, and she moved closer to him, carefully picking up the leather strip that had been wrapped around his face just a minute prior. “I’ll get the bigger one for you, the one with a lock on the back, so you don’t lose it again.”

 

Harry stared at her in silence, whatever fluid he had inhaled was doing a pretty good job of making him feel as disconnected from his body as he’d ever been.

 

“I know, you must be so scared baby.” She whispered softly. “But Nanny’s here, I’ll take good care of you.”

 

She fitted Harry with a larger strip of leather, fastening it behind his head and putting a lock on it, just like she said she was going to. She smiled, making sure there was no way for Harry to spit out the pacifier that was attached to - or maybe even build into - the leather around his head, and then she leaned back, smiling at Harry with a soft expression. Harry was still crying, overwhelmingly frustrated with how helpless he was, and she just wiped his tears gently.

 

“Nanny’s going to change you now, baby.” She whispered, moving down and gently opening Harry’s pants. Harry’s eyes went wide, and he started struggling again, but the heavy fog and the pounding migraine didn’t allow him much control of his limbs at the moment. He could feel everything, though. He felt her stripping him bare from the waist down, and he felt her putting something else on his lower half instead, then patting his front once through the crinkly material. “We got Winnie The Pooh diapers for you.”

 

Harry sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes wide as he shook his head, moving like he was trying to get away from her again, but his body still wasn’t cooperating, and she smiled again.

 

“Now, now, the more you struggle the more you’re going to hurt yourself.” Nanny said, taking a seat beside the bed and rubbing Harry’s belly. Harry let out a muffled scream of frustration, still crying as he tried to get control back of himself. He needed to get the hell out, but his nose was clogging up, and he couldn’t get his mouth open wide enough to breath. He was going to die, he just knew it.

 

“You’re scaring him.”

 

Harry’s eyes shifted, his head too heavy for movement, and the voice was completely unfamiliar but there was a desperate hope that this newcomer would save him somehow. She was fairly small, with an oval face and sharp brown eyes, long black hair tied into a braid. She looked nothing like “Nanny,” who was tall and a little chunky with dull green eyes and kind of frizzy blonde hair. The new girl stepped closer.

 

“Hello, Harry. I am Mama, I will keep you safe.” She promised, her accent thick. He wondered briefly where she was from, but it was a passing thought at best. “Mommy will come soon. We want to take care of you.”

 

Whatever tiny ounce of hope Harry had been clinging to vanished. He watched her come closer, his eyes blinking slowly as his tears slid out, and Mama shooed Nanny away, taking her seat as the girl huffed. Mama rolled her eyes, leaning forward and taking the leather strap back off of his face. He gasped for air, his head falling back on the pillow as he took shuddering breaths.

 

“Tell Mama what Nanny did to you, hmm?” She said, and Harry couldn’t speak even if he wanted to. He just stared at her, his eyelids feeling way too heavy as he tried to take in everything about both of them. He needed to get out, he needed to report them, he needed to...to do anything, that wasn’t laying in this bed, waiting for whatever was going to come next.

 

“I dosed him. He’s not going to talk.” Nanny said, and Mama’s eyes widened.

 

“No! What did I tell you?!” She shouted, turning on the other girl almost instantly. “Go! Go! Out!”

 

Nanny looked annoyed. “Liam and Zayn kept calling. He was flipping out.”

 

“You can make him very sick if you don’t know how!” She said, slamming her foot down. “Out!”

 

Nanny held up her hands. “I’ll be back later with dinner.” She mumbled, heading out of Harry’s line of sight. Mama huffed, grabbing the cloth that had been pressed to Harry’s face just a few minutes earlier and sniffing it before making a face and tossing it.

 

“She used so much. Ugh. I’ll get you some water, and you can sleep it off.” She mumbled, following after Nanny and leading Harry alone, staring after her. He didn’t want to sleep it off. He didn’t want to sleep at all, around these crazy girls. He tugged on the ropes again, but he was aware, kind of, of how bad his wrists hurt suddenly. He wanted to at least stop crying, but that seemed like too much to ask for, too.

 

Mama came back a few minutes later with a sigh on her lips and a...bottle?! She had a freaking bottle, in her hand. This couldn’t be good, and Harry clamped his lips shut tight, his body tense. The fog was lifting, kind of, and he was more aware now of the danger he was really in. Who the fuck knew what was in that thing? She pressed it to his lips, and he jerked his head away, his eyes squeezing shut.

 

“Shh, look at me little one. Look here.” She said softly, her free hand gently rubbing along the inside of his arm like she was just a friend trying to get his attention. He opened one eye slowly, looking at her distrustfully, and she unscrewed the top of the bottle, taking a big sip. “Just water. I promise. It’ll make you feel a little better, less foggy.”

 

“Why’re you helping me?” He asked, his voice scratchy and suspicious. She laughed.

 

“You don’t think we actually want to hurt you, do you?” She asked, and Harry raised an eyebrow at her. She sighed, screwing the top back on. “Well, I don’t.”

 

“Where are you from?” Harry asked, trying to change the subject. She might have been tiny, but Harry could tell she was the ring leader, and that made her the worst one to mess with. He didn’t want to piss her off by rubbing it in her face that he didn’t trust her. She held up the bottle again, and he shook his head. “Tell me where you’re from first.”

 

“Hong Kong. Now open up.” She said, and reluctantly, Harry obeyed.

 

* * *

 

“We’re putting the tour on hold. We’re going back to our house. We’re not playing any fucking games.” Liam said, his palm slamming hard into the wall beside him. Paul’s eyes were wide.

 

“We just thought it might help to put out a public plea.” He explained, and Louis shook his head.

 

“They don’t want us to beg.” Louis said softly. “They want Harry, and they’ve got him. If they want ransom, or have some sort of demand to see him again, then they’ll contact us. But the best place for us to be right now is home. His mum is the best person to put out a plea right now. Not us.”

 

“Louis this is serious.” Paul said, his tone pleading, and Liam looked like he was about to explode again, but Zayn beat him to it, physically shoving Paul back into the wall.

 

“Us begging will not get him back. You heard her. He’s going to stay with me now. What are we supposed to do? Go out somewhere and say ‘Oh, hey, we think some random girl in the general area kidnapped our youngest member, but we don’t know how long it’s been and we don’t know how far she could have gotten with him’? That makes us automatically suspicious of every single girl in the country. Do you realize this?” Zayn asked, shaking the front of Paul’s shirt. “We want him home more than you could imagine, but we’re not making a public statement. We’re in no good state for it. We’ll cooperate with the police, but we’re going home.”

 

Louis carefully pulled Zayn back, leading him to sit down with Niall, who was a complete and utter mess. They weren’t even sure how they were going to get him out of the hotel. Louis and Liam had been keeping his _Little_ side a secret for so long now, protecting him from the rest of the world and taking care of him when his stress levels got to be too much, but this was beyond anything they’d ever dealt with, and they’re bandmate was all but gone, completely checked out. Liam had had to send one of the security guards to get adult diapers and pray he wasn’t recognized on the way.

 

Niall was sniffly and curled up, his head dropping in Zayn’s lap when neither Louis nor Liam came to sit with him. Zayn swallowed, resisting the urge to push the other away because he really, he wanted to shatter too, and it wasn’t fair that Niall was the only one who got to. Zayn forced out a laugh, because he could feel tears stinging at his eyes, and he just didn’t have time for it. He didn’t have time to cry over stupid little things.

 

“Zayn?” Louis’ voice was soft, and the dark-haired man looked up at him.

 

“We need to get out of here.” He whispered, and Louis nodded.

 

It took some doing, and a promise of a blanket and cuddles, but they managed to get Niall to walk out of the hotel. All four boys were holding hands, fingers laced and by the time they made it outside Niall wasn’t the only one with tears on his face, but it didn’t really matter. They got into the van and made their way to the airport, plans in motion and the tour put on hold indefinitely. Niall refused to stop his clinging, and Zayn really, really wanted to be alone so he could smoke his troubles away. Honestly, he wanted to get so high that he would have an out of body experience and find Harry somehow, but he knew it would never work.

 

Niall had had a complete meltdown after the phonecall, his brain going into overdrive as he pieced together the (strangely) most logical conclusion. They’d all been asleep by the time Harry’d gotten out of the shower, and Harry had probably gone to get new sheets or something and that was why he hadn’t taken _anything_ with him.

 

It took a little while for the hotel to find the footage of him leaving the room, but he’d been on the phone with someone, not seeming to be heading anywhere in particular for nearly an hour, just walking around and wiping at his face - Niall and Zayn were competing for who had the guiltier heart when they realized he’d been crying - before finally hanging up and leaving the hotel. There was still nearly a two hour gap between the last time Harry was caught on film and the phone call, though. So, while Niall broke down, Liam took care of Niall, and Louis argued with Paul around speaking to the police, Zayn made phone calls.

 

He called Harry’s mother, called Niall’s mother, called his own mother in a moment of panic, then moved on to calling their friends. It wasn’t until Nick called _Louis_ to see why Harry wasn’t answering that Zayn put two and two together, grabbing Louis’ phone and demanding to know what they had been talking about before Harry up and fucking vanished.

 

Zayn settled into his seat on the plane, Liam sitting beside him and tossing a heavy arm around his shoulders, pulling Zayn even closer than before and sitting quietly as the other crumbled into him, guilt shattering his insides and pressing shards into sensitive areas that he couldn’t pull them out of.

 

“‘S my fault.” Zayn whispered. “I got snappy, while you and Nialler were in the bathroom. Told him off. Told Louis off, too. Made ‘im think he couldn’t talk to me. To us, probably. My fault.”

 

“I don’t think-” Liam started, and Zayn looked at him with red rimmed eyes.

 

“Nick told me. Said Haz was crying. Thought we were all mad at him. Didn’t want to be in the room. Didn’t want to bother us.” Zayn said, and Liam closed his eyes.

 

“If he really felt that way, then it’s got to do with a lot more than just last night.” Liam said softly, shaking his head. Zayn bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

 

“He’s going to come home, right?” He asked after a few silent minutes. Liam nodded quietly.

 

“Course he is.” Louis spoke up. “He’s going to come home and the five of us are going to take a long vacation on deserted island and not talk to a soul.”

 

“Lou..” Liam said softly, and Louis looked at him, waiting for him to shoot the idea down. “When Harry comes home, not even the entirety of The Scotland Yard, not the entire Queen’s army, could stop us from getting as far as fucking possible from the public eye.”

 

Zayn swallowed, gripping the arm of his seat tightly and nodding in agreement. He leaned into Liam’s chest and tried to just breath. Not think about Harry being kidnapped and maybe hurt or scared or god-knew-what. Not think about Niall sucking his thumb and calling Liam _Daddy_ in a way that had literally nothing to do with the fans nickname for him. Tried not to think about the implication it had that Liam and Louis had been taking care of Niall together this whole time in secret.

 

Zayn just didn’t want to think about anything anymore, he just wanted to stop feeling like his entire world was a lie, and like the rug was being ripped out from under his feet every time he tried to take a step. He laughed a little bit suddenly, and Liam looked at him curiously.

  
“If life is so insistent on fucking me in the arse right now, I wish it would at least use a little lube.” Zayn whispered, and Liam laughed along with him, pulling him closer when Zayn’s laughs started sounding more like sobs, and feeling guilt eat at his heart, too. Zayn may not have been little like Niall, or quite so honestly sensitive as Harry, but he needed to be taken care of too, and Liam had been neglecting him for a long time.


	3. Tantrums

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” Harry hissed out between his teeth, and Nanny just shrugged a little. They hadn’t been forcing the pacifier back on him yet, so he spit at her face instead, feeling a smug kind of satisfaction at the disgusted squeal she let out when it hit her cheek.

 

“Bad! Bad baby!” She screamed, smacking his face, and he grunted, getting ready to spit again when a redhead he’d only met once - known simply as _Mommy_ \- appeared out of nowhere, pulling Nanny back.

 

“Don’t hit him! Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you?!” Mommy screamed, throwing Nanny back a bit and Harry couldn’t figure out how no one heard them. They’d been fighting and screaming like this since yesterday, trying to make all these decisions they were obviously not suited to make.

 

“He spit on me!” Nanny shrieked. “I told him to use his nappy and he spit on me!”

 

“It takes time to adjust.” Mommy said, sounding like she was moments from losing her patience entirely. “You have to ease him into it, or distract the hell out of him until he does it on his own. You can’t yell and expect results.”

 

“His nappy was dry all day yesterday, and this morning. He’s going to get a bladder infection.” Nanny said, irritated.

 

“No, he won’t.” Harry looked up, seeing Mama standing at the edge of his vision. She was his favorite (not that he should really have favorites, but he kept telling himself that he needed something to hold onto, and she was the only one who didn’t really make him want to die), and he was genuinely relieved to see her. “Extended periods of trying to hold your bladder past its breaking point lead to incontinence, which leaves him going in his nappies. He’ll be fine.”

 

“Fine.” Nanny said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Mama shrugged, looking like she might be about to laugh, and moved to the bed.

 

“And you, Harry. You can’t tell me that doesn’t hurt.” Mama said, reaching over the guardrail and rubbing her hand gently along the awkward bulge in Harry’s lower belly. He tried to move away, but she pressed and Harry made a strangled sound as he _finally_ let go, breathing hard and clenching his teeth, trying not to make any noise because it was embarrassing enough to have someone - three someones - watch you wet yourself and listen to the stretch of the nappy as it swelled, but they didn’t need to know how much of a relief it was. “You’re all sweaty, baby. Just relax.”

 

Harry refused to open his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks despite his best efforts, and it felt like forever before he was finally empty. Mama kept on rubbing his belly anyway, whispering to him softly, and Harry managed to roll over, trying to get away from her despite the awkward twist of his arms and the highly uncomfortable _squish_ between his legs. She started rubbing his back instead.

 

“It’s time for a change, then, Harry.” She said softly, and Harry actually sobbed into his arm, not sure what would be worse - sitting in it, or letting these girls _touch_ him.

 

He didn’t really have a choice in the matter, he soon found out. They rolled him over, and he stared up at Mommy as he he sobbed, Mama stripping him down and running a cold, wet cloth over his personal bits before strapping him into a fresh nappy. He closed his eyes, rolling again as soon as he could because he didn’t want to look at any of them anymore. He wanted to go home. He missed Louis and Liam and Niall and Zayn and he’d apologize for the rest of his life if they would just save him. He felt so broken without them.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Mommy said, an edge of panic to her voice.

 

“I’ve done this before.” Mama said. “I know what he needs. Go warm up a bottle.”

 

Harry felt the tight binding on one of his wrists vanish, and he wanted so badly to be strong enough, to be brave enough, to take this opportunity. To fight, to run, to do _something_ , but he just pulled his arm into his chest and moaned at the pain of moving his shoulder for the first time since he’d been taken.

 

“Is that a little better for you?” Mama asked, undoing the other one as well and dropping the guard. She sat on the bed, pulling Harry’s giant form practically into her lap and wiped his nose. “Really, now, is using a nappy the worst thing you can imagine?”

 

“I j-just want to go home.” Harry whispered, and Mama sighed, rubbing Harry’s back gently.

 

“This is home, now, baby. Right here with Mama and Mommy and Nanny.” Mama said, and Harry shook his head, feeling sick.

 

“I want Liam and Zayn and-” Mama pushed the pacifier into his mouth, giving him a stern look.

 

“Shh, little one. No need for all that fuss.” She said, and Harry wanted to thrash and scream and lose his mind, but his arms hurt too much to move them, and he was so worn out from everything else. “Nanny’s going to get you some footies, and we’ll bring you to the living room to watch cartoons after your bottle, alright?”

 

Harry’s head was spinning, and he couldn’t be sure, but he thought he might pass out before he could answer that _no, it wasn’t alright_ , but Nanny was was dressing his lower half in zebra striped footie pyjamas and Mama was awkwardly lifting him just enough that Nanny could shove the back under his arse. He couldn’t stop his shoulders from shaking as Mama rubbed his back, slowly sliding his shirt up. He went into full panic mode, shaking his head, as Mama lifted his arms to get the shirt over his head, and he cried, a pained sob escaping. His arms weren’t meant to be tied above his head for fuck-knows how long, and they _hurt_.

 

“Almost there baby.” Mama whispered. “I know, no one likes getting changed. But you’re doing so well. You’re almost there.”

 

“Hurts..” He whimpered around the pacifier, and Mama nodded slowly in understanding.

 

“I know, little one. Mama and Mommy and Nanny just had to make sure you weren’t going to try to get away.” Mama said softly, and Harry whimpered, shifting a little and feeling his shoulder crack.

 

“I’ve got his bottle.” Mommy said, stepping down to the bottom step and waving the blue thing around casually. Harry glanced at it before ducking his head down, tucking it under Mama’s chin and closing his eyes tightly. He didn’t want it.

 

“Do you want Mommy to feed you?” Mama asked softly, and Harry sniffed, shaking his head. He didn’t want any of them to feed him, he wanted to feed himself. A pizza or a cheeseburger, something with actual substance. Not this liquid diet. “What about Mama?” Harry shook his head again, his arms shaking uncontrollably as he wiped his eyes. “...Nanny?”

 

“No.” Harry’s tone was sharp in his refusal. Mama was his favorite, and he didn’t really mind Mommy too much, even if she was a little loud, but he _hated_ Nanny. Mama blinked in surprise.

 

“You don’t want any of us to feed you?” She asked, and Harry shook his head. Mama sighed, motioning to Mommy until the girl came closer, sitting on the bed. “Mommy will feed you this time, then. Don’t make a big fuss.”

 

Harry deeply considered making the biggest fuss he could as Mama transferred him to Mommy’s lap, then pulled his pacifier away. Harry, for his part, had a horrifying moment where he wanted to snatch it back from her and tell her it was _his_ , but he reprimanded himself mentally and reminded himself that he didn’t need it. He shouldn’t even _want_ it.

 

“Open up, little one. I made sure it was nice and warm.” Mommy promised, her voice hurting his head a little bit, but he reluctantly did as he was told, taking the nipple and sucking quietly.

 

His eyes fluttered closed when he realized it was heated up chocolate milk, his head falling heavy on Mommy’s shoulder. He slowly calmed down, not entirely sure why he was feeling so relaxed, but he assumed they had drugged his milk. It was the only thing that honestly made any sense to him at all.

 

Mommy started to pull the bottle away when she noticed how zoned out Harry seemed to be, but Harry leaned forward, following it, and Mama laughed beside them.

 

“He likes it.” She said, her voice soft, and Harry slitted his eyes, a grumpy expression coming to his face as he lifted a hand, being careful not to move his shoulder again, and held onto Mommy’s wrist so she couldn’t take it away again. It was his, after all, drugged or not. and he was kind of hungry. The milk was definitely a comfort on his empty stomach, but all too soon it was gone. “That’s all, Harry, no more.”

 

Harry shot Mama a somewhat betrayed look and continued to hold on. Somewhere in his head, he knew he was acting weird - well, weirder than usual - but he didn’t want to put too much thought into it. He was just _hungry_.

 

“Should I make him another one?” Mommy asked softly, gently tugging the bottle away and watching him open his mouth to protest. Mama slipped the pacifier back between his lips and watched him sigh in relief and settle back down.

 

“Probably a good idea. He’s probably starving.” Mama said. “Let’s bring him up to the living room, though. Put him in his playpen for now, he can watch Scooby-Doo.”

 

Mommy nodded, adjusting her hold slightly and lifting Harry’s legs around her waist. Harry, for his part, was still convinced there were drugs in the milk making him so pliant. He didn’t fight at all, just sucking at his pacifier and resting his head on her shoulder as she carried him up the stairs and to a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the floor. She gently set him down, watching as his curls fell back from his face, and then backed up.

 

Four walls made of wooden slats came down around him, suddenly, and it jolted Harry out of whatever sleepy state he was in. He swallowed, looking around in a panic, and tried to stand up, only to hit his head on a slatted roof of sorts. He stumbled back down onto his knees and looked at Mama anxiously, waiting for an explanation as she secured the walls to some locks on the floor. How the hell had he missed all of this on his way into the room?!

 

“It’s just your playpen, baby. So you can be upstairs with us, instead of downstairs all the time.” Mama explained, and Harry’s lip trembled around the pacifier. He was locked up like a rat in a cage, on display for anyone who might come in. “Shh, shh, it’s just for a few minutes. Mommy’s making you another bottle, okay? Just calm down.”

 

“I-I..” Harry tried to speak, but nothing was coming out. He just wanted to see his friends again. Mama reached through the slats and stroked Harry’s head softly, watching him slowly slump into the touch, his eyes watery. He was starting to conform to what she wanted, though, so she was okay with a little tantrum for now.

 

“What, baby?” She whispered, and Harry rubbed his eye sadly.

 

“L-Louis and Niall-” He started, his voice muffled around the pacifier, and she shook her head.

 

“No. None of that.” She said sternly, and Harry’s breath caught in his chest. This was so _fucked_ and he just wanted to go home, to go back to the people he loved and trusted and cared about. “But if you’re good today, Mama will let you listen to one song.” She said suddenly, and Harry looked up, his heart pounding in his chest as he nodded quickly. He way beyond willing to do whatever it took to feel closer to the lads. He couldn’t deal with this shattering sensation in his chest much longer, and he couldn’t guarantee that it would feel better after he’d listened to their voices, but he could hope.

 

“Little Things?” Harry asked softly.

 

Little Things was the song that showcased their voices most clearly, and the entire first verse was just Zayn and Liam. Mama nodded, and Harry rubbed his eyes, slumping into the corner of the ‘playpen’ to wait. Mommy came back a minute later, handing Mama another bottle and smiling a bit.

 

“I’m going to make dinner.” Mommy said. “You can feed him this time. It’s the same, just warmed up chocolate milk.”

 

“Thanks.” Mama said, fiddling with one of the locks before opening a door Harry hadn’t even seen on the playpen. She smiled, crawling inside and locking the door again behind her before going to sit in the pile of blankets. “Come here, Harry. Show Mama what a good boy you can be for her.”

 

Harry felt a twist in his gut that he was pretty sure had to be nausea, because there was nothing else that made sense, and he shuffled over on his knees, his shoulders still too sore to allow for any crawling on his part. She smiled, pulling Harry into her lap and situating him, his head resting in the crook of her arm and his forever-damp eyes blinking up at her. She set the bottle to the side and pulled the pacifier free of his lips, then pressed the bottle into his mouth instead.

 

Harry took a moment to get going this time, because he wasn’t so desperately hungry, and this time the bottle dragged out a little longer. Harry felt that same weird feeling from before and determined that the milk was _definitely_ drugged as he cuddled a little closer, his fingers curling loosely into his footies.

 

“Good boy.” Mama whispered softly, rocking him a little bit. “Such a good boy for Mama. I’m so proud of you.”

 

Harry wanted to protest, he wasn’t anyone’s ‘good boy’ and he wasn’t about to be whatever it was she expected him to be, but it wasn’t too long after that he wet his nappy for the second time that day, and this time, he didn’t even flinch.

 

“What a good boy.” Mama whispered, realizing what he’d done. Harry’s cheeks tinged pink as she pulled the empty bottle away. “Mama will change you, and you can nap for a little bit while we eat, okay?” She said, laying him down and slipping him his pacifier before starting to change him. “After that, we’ll have some...ah...playtime. Just me and you.”

* * *

 

Zayn shot Liam the dirtiest look he could muster. He wanted, and intended to have, absolutely nothing to do with Niall’s little game.

 

“I am _not_ a baby.” Zayn snarled, and Liam held his hands up.

 

“I was just offering. You seemed pretty jealous-” Liam started, and Zayn stood up, storming out of the room.

 

“Fuck you, Liam.” Zayn snapped, going to his room and slamming the door.

 

Maybe Zayn was a bit jealous of the attention Niall was getting, but that was all. He didn’t want to be strapped into a diaper and he didn’t want to act like a little kid. He didn’t want to color or call Liam Daddy (at least not the way Niall meant it) and he most certainly didn’t want a fucking _bottle_. Seriously, what the hell was Liam’s issue? Was that all he knew how to do anymore?

 

Zayn dug through his drawers, finding his bowl and packing it full of freshly ground weed, then opening the window. He sat in the window sill, grateful at least that the others hadn’t fought him when he’d claimed this room for his own. He remembered Harry claiming that Zayn was like a girl, curling up in that seat and reading the day they’d moved in. He’d kept the door closed ever since, but he would open it for the rest of his life, if it meant having Harry back.

 

Zayn tugged a lighter out of his pocket and lit the green, pressing his thumb to the rush hole and sucking, long and slow, before pulling back and pulling in all the smoke he’d accumulated. He let his head fall back against the wall and squeezed his eyes closed as he held it, counting to forty and then blowing it all out, choking despite his best efforts.

 

He sat like that, smoking and counting until the bowl was empty, and he was feeling pretty fucked. He stood up and stumbled, then laughed at himself, putting the cashed out bowl back in his drawer and stumbling back over to his window seat. He pulled out his headphones, plugging them into his phone and pressing them into his ears before he found the song he was looking for.

 

He listened to the opening guitar strings and promptly burst into tears, his head falling forward on his knees as he tried to cry as quietly as he could. Two days, it had been. Two days without Harry, and Zayn wondered when exactly they had all begun to mean so much to him that _two fucking days_ made him want to die. He felt his breath hitching in his chest as he tried to sing along to his own parts of the song - Little Things had practically been written about Harry, so many of his little quirks falling perfectly into place as part of the song. Even the sleep talking bit was just so Harry it utterly amazed Zayn that it _hadn’t_ been written about their youngest member.

 

Eventually, Zayn gave up any notion of trying to keep himself together. He knew it was pointless, knew it didn’t really matter anyway. It was so unlikely that Liam or Louis would hear him, even more unlikely that they would bother him, and they had Niall on such a tight leash that Zayn was completely alone. Exactly what he’d been saying he wanted all this time.

 

Except, Zayn was trying to find an excuse to go out to where the others were. Trying to find a way to make it casual, so they might accidentally notice his red eyes and scratchy voice and pull him into whatever cuddle party they were having in the living room. The idea alone was comforting enough to slow his tears, a temporary reprieve from his overly emotional state. But Zayn wasn’t very good at that, and he wasn’t confident enough in himself to just go out there. Not to mention, he reeked of weed, and while the others all knew he did it, they didn’t particularly like the smell.

 

Zayn pulled his headphones out, grabbing a clean set of boxers and pajama pants before heading down the hall to the bathroom. If he was going to fantasize that he was brave enough to go beg for comfort, he wanted to at least not smell the way they all hated. He wanted to be tolerable to them, at least, instead of another stress point. Harry being gone was literally like being punched repeatedly in the stomach and having no way to stop it.

 

Zayn was sobbing again by the time he made it into the shower, having smoked way too much after having been off the stuff for nearly a month. He washed himself thoroughly, making sure not a single hair on his body still smelled, before getting out of the shower and drying himself off. He glanced at himself in the mirror, staring at the broken mess he’d become, and hated the way he couldn’t focus on his own eyes, so he got dressed instead.

 

He slowly sank down to the floor after, pulling his phone out of his smelly jacket pocket and looking at the time. It was barely eight PM. There was no way the others were in bed, yet, and he knew he could just go down to the living room and curl up under Liam’s arm and be fine but…

 

Zayn didn’t know a whole lot about what Liam and Louis’ relationship actually was. No more than he understood Niall’s relationship with both of them. All he knew was that he was horribly, desperately jealous of whatever the hell it was, and Liam knew. Liam knew not just how pathetically weak Zayn was at times, but also how he felt about Liam.

 

Liam had told Zayn once that when he was ready to speak, face to face, about what Zayn was feeling, they would discuss it. Zayn had always been too afraid to bring it up, even when they were alone, so their conversations on that subject had become limited to texts, mostly telling Zayn to come and talk, and Zayn refusing.

 

Zayn punched in Liam’s number and hit call, listening to it ring quietly before reconsidering, about to hang up as he realized how stupid he was being, but Liam answered too quickly.

 

“ _Are you that afraid to talk to me_?” Liam asked, in lieu of hello. Zayn sniffed, resting his head on his knees.

 

“Still mad at me?” Zayn whispered, his voice shaking more than he wanted it to. Liam sighed.

 

“ _Never mad at you_.” Liam promised. “ _Want me to come up_?”

 

“Just...just for a minute. Can’t calm down. Don’t want to upset Niall.” Zayn said - it was a pretty good excuse, and not entirely a lie, but he didn’t want to cry in front of Louis, either.

 

“ _In your room_?” Liam asked, and Zayn sniffed.

 

“Bathroom.” He said, and there was a silent moment before the call ended. Zayn swallowed, setting the phone down and dropping his head in his knees again, waiting for the knock.

 

Liam didn’t bother knocking, and just walked right in instead, and Zayn looked up slowly, wiping his eyes. Liam sat in front of him, holding his arms out for the other and waiting, and it took a moment, but Zayn finally moved into Liam’s arms, curling up there and trying not to cry anymore.

 

“You’re wasted.” Liam accused, and Zayn nodded, not even bothering to protest. “What are you so afraid of that you can’t just talk to me? Tell me what you need, Zayn. Tell me how to help you.”

 

“I don’t know.” Zayn whispered. “I want to tell you but I just _don’t know_.”

 

“Then start with what you do know. Maybe we can figure it out together.” Liam said softly, and Zayn swallowed hard, nodding slowly.

 

“I don’t want to drink out of a bottle.” Zayn said, and Liam busted out laughing, surprising Zayn but also bringing a tiny smile. “I’m not like Niall.”

 

“I know.” Liam said. “But I didn’t know what else to do. You don’t give me a whole lot to work with, you know.”

 

“I know.” Zayn said right away, his forehead pressing into the side of Zayn’s neck. “I’m sorry. I know. I’m complicated and a pain in the ass and...I know.”

 

“You haven’t done anything wrong, you know.” Liam said, after a little while. “I just...I’m used to Niall. Louis and I handle things together in a much different way than we handle Niall...and quite frankly, you’re more like Niall than like Louis.”

 

“Not a baby.” Zayn said stubbornly, and Liam shook his head.

 

“No, you’re not.” Liam agreed. “But you’re something, and you’re too scared to say what.”

 

“I told you.” Zayn whispered. “I don’t know.”

 

They emerged from the bathroom nearly an hour later, Zayn half asleep and clinging to Liam’s arm as they made their way downstairs to the living room. Louis raised a brow, and Liam mouthed ‘ _later_ ’ before sitting on the couch, letting Zayn tuck himself in as close as he could to his side. Niall was laying on the floor, coloring quietly and not paying all too much attention to the television.

 

Louis poked him with a toe occasionally, just to see those baby blue eyes light up with a quiet giggle, and Zayn watched quietly as Louis cuddled with him, giving Niall something he obviously needed, but also starting to look at how Louis was getting something out of it, too. Rather than focusing so hard on Harry being gone, he was able to channel his energy into caring for Niall, who obviously, desperately needed it.

 

Zayn sucked his lip into his mouth and curled even closer to Liam, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t think he could do it - be that small, that desperate, that needy. He couldn’t be the distraction Liam needed, when he spent all of his time bringing up the same problem over and over.

 

“Li..” Zayn whispered quietly, not looking at the other. “Maybe...should I go stay at my mums?”

 

“Why?” Liam asked, and the tone of alarm caught everyone’s attention. Zayn shrank into himself.

 

“I just...” Zayn’s eyes were huge as Liam stared, waiting for an answer like it was the difference between life and death.

 

“What is it, love?” Louis asked, his voice soft and soothing like it always was. Zayn kind of felt like crying again.

 

“D-don’t want to bother you guys.” Zayn mumbled. “I know I’m not the...the easiest person to...”

 

“Don’t say that.” Liam whispered, pulling Zayn into his lap and hugging him tightly. “And please, for the love of god, don’t go anywhere. We need you here. We need to keep ourselves together.”

 

“Liam’s right, Zayn.” Louis whispered. “If you don’t want to have the same dynamic we have with Nialler, that’s fine. But we’re not...we can’t handle losing you, too.”

 

“I-I’m not...like him.” Zayn whispered, and Liam held on a little tighter. Zayn sounded like he was going to cry again.

 

“No, but you’ve still got too much going on in your head.” Liam whispered. “We can help with that.”

 

“I won’t go.” Zayn whispered, not wanting to make Liam or Louis think they had to do something for him to make him stay. “I’ll stay home. I just don’t want to bother you.”

 

“You’re not a bother.” Liam said firmly, and Zayn sighed.

 

“I’m not helping, either.” Zayn mumbled, and Liam rubbed his back gently.

 

“If you would relax a bit..” Liam said, and Zayn’s face scrunched.

 

“‘M not wearing nappies.” He said, and Liam rolled his eyes.

 

“Not asking you to.” Liam said, and Louis laughed.

 

“No bottles.” Zayn said, a moment later. He looked kind of frustrated. “Not a baby.”

 

“No, you’re not.” Liam agreed, and Louis laughed even harder.

 

“Maybe not.” Louis finally said. “But you could be a toddler.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, Harry's slipping into headspace a bit, and Louis, Liam, and Zayn are about to figure out that there's more than one type of little.


	4. Filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essentially just so you guys don't think I've forgotten this story..It's still a work in progress.

“‘s still weird..” Zayn mumbled, not feeling very much like what Liam and Louis seemed to think he was. And he had no interest in the way Niall kept trying to cuddle with him. He just wanted Liam’s attention, and maybe a quick fuck with a hand around his throat. Was that so much to ask for?

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” Liam asked softly, and Zayn was quiet for a moment. He was curled up in the other’s arms, his head on Liam’s shoulder, and a sippy cup in his hands. He didn’t like the diapers and he didn’t like the baby talk or the coloring books or anything else...but being allowed to cuddle right up to Liam and stick his head under the other’s chin and know it was okay, he liked a lot. He liked being able press shy kisses to warm skin and not feel like he was freaking Liam out.

He liked feeling loved, and safe.

“Yeah.” Zayn whispered, his voice oddly breathy, and Liam glanced at him for a moment before smiling.

“The weirdness goes away, in time.” Liam promised, and Zayn nodded, still quiet. He curled a little bit further into Liam’s side, half of his face hiding away in the other’s neck, and he settled in for the movie Louis had put on before scooping Nialler up and sitting in the oversized chair with him. Niall took a few minutes to properly settle, but once he did, he was out like a light. Zayn took a sip of his water, still focused on the movie.

Liam slowly pried Zayn off of him, laying him on the couch with a pillow and blanket and taking his cup, leaving Zayn wondering both what he’d done wrong, and if Liam was coming back.

Thankfully Liam did come back, before Zayn even had time to overthink. He was holding something a little different in his hand, though, and Zayn opened his mouth to point out that Niall was sleeping and therefore had no need for a dummy, but the point was quickly proven moot when it was pushed into his own mouth.

“Just try it.” Liam said quickly, seeing Zayn’s face. “Worst case, you hate it and we never have to try it again.”

Zayn swallowed, nodding slowly and getting ready to settle back into the pillow when Liam scooped him up again. Zayn had no complaints at all in regards to that, and he gladly settled into Liam’s chest, ready to sleep the day away.

“Is this what you wanted?” Liam asked, running his fingers through Zayn’s hair. Zayn quickly hid his face, holding onto Liam a little tighter, and Liam glanced at Louis before sighing and settling in.

Zayn didn’t even realize he was falling asleep until he woke up a few hours later. He rubbed his eyes as he rolled, nearly toppling off the couch, but someone caught him. He opened his mouth to ask who was there, but he felt something falling from his lips and quickly closed his mouth, not wanting to lose whatever it was.

“I knew you’d like it.” Louis whispered. Zayn opened his eyes slowly, letting them focus and slowly realizing Louis was the one who’d caught him. “You okay?”

“Mm..” Zayn mumbled, nodding a little bit and sitting up. He was still disoriented.

“Good.” Louis said, sitting beside him and rubbing Zayn’s back. Zayn slumped back against Louis, covering his mouth as he yawned to keep the dummy in place. “Are you up for talking at all?”

“Talking?” Zayn mumbled, his voice muffled as he rested his head back on Louis’ shoulder. Louis nodded, rubbing Zayn’s shoulder.

“Yeah. I want to talk to you about Liam.” Louis said, and Zayn immediately started looking around. “He’s upstairs napping with Niall. Don’t worry. It’s just us.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Zayn asked. Louis grinned.

“You like him, right?” Louis asked. Zayn started to sit up, reaching for his dummy, but Louis pushed him back and blocked Zayn’s hand. “Don’t take it out. I think it makes you feel better.”

“I...” Zayn swallowed, not really sure what to say. Louis was right. On both counts.

“Do you like Liam?” Louis asked. Zayn nodded slowly, avoiding eye contact. “But you don’t want to just cuddle with him.”

“Are you two...together?” Zayn asked, letting out a shaky breath. Louis hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Not necessarily the way you think.” Louis explained. “It’s kind of an open relationship. But...it’s only open to you lads.”

“Me and Niall?” Zayn asked, his stomach twisting up a little bit. “And...Haz?”

“Yeah.” Louis said softly. “Only within the five of us.”

“Oh.” Zayn mumbled, biting at the dummy.

“I want to make it clear.” Louis said. “We want everyone involved. We came together because of a drunken night and confessions we never meant to make. But nothing really happened until Niall wet the bed the first time.”

“I want him to fuck me.” Zayn whispered suddenly. “Like a punishment.”

“Oh.” Louis said, his eyes going round. “Is that...is that all?”

“No. But that’s where I know to start. That’s easier than...” Zayn took a breath. “I don’t want to feel like we’re against each other anymore.”

“You have...a tendency to react like you’re angry.” Louis said, sighing a little bit. “When you’re stressed. You act like we’re...I don’t know.”

“I know.” Zayn whispered, slumping down. “Because I’m confused all the time. I feel like I want to be big. I want to keep everyone safe. And then I want to feel like someone’s looking out for me, I want to be small enough to be watched out for. I want to take control, and I want to be put in my place.”

“So you smoke, to deal with it.” Louis said, nodding, and Zayn closed his eyes. “I think you’re afraid.”

“I’m terrified.” Zayn mumbled.

“What if we just take away your ability to choose?” Louis asked. Zayn’s eyes snapped open, and Louis held up a hand. “No, don’t panic. Just temporarily. Give us...a few days. To make your big decisions for you. Obviously, if you want juice instead of milk we’ll listen to you. But we’ll decide when you go to bed and wake up and give you baths and...decide when you cum. And how.”

Zayn made a little sound at the last part, somewhere between a choke and whimper, and he pulled his knees up to his chest. All of that sounded like he was going to be entirely too vulnerable, no matter how much he trusted Louis and Liam, and he trembled slightly at the thought of it all. Not having the ability to make any choices sounded...awful. And wonderful. It was another impasse he would never be able to breach with himself if he didn’t just jump in headfirst...so he nodded, refusing to make eye contact.

There was always going to be a small part of him that was terrified that this was all a hoax, some big joke meant to humiliate him. He’d never really considered himself insecure but...that was certainly how all of this seemed to be spelling out.

“I’ll go and talk with Li, okay?” Louis said, reaching out and lightly fluffing up Zayn’s hair. Zayn shivered a little once Louis stood, having grown accustom to his body heat, so he quickly wrapped himself in a blanket and dropped his head on the pillow. Louis hesitated, looking like he might have something to say, but in the end it didn’t amount to anything but silence as he walked away.

Louis slipped into the bed beside Liam a few moments later, and Liam peeked one eye open at the eldest before wrapping an arm around him and pulling him in close.

“Missed me?” Liam teased. Louis promptly rolled his eyes and dropped his head on Liam’s chest, reaching over him to run his fingers through Niall’s hair. Niall had had his first lucid moment since coming home while Zayn was asleep, and it had required something a lot more intense than cuddling and nappies to calm him down once it registered that Haz was still gone.

“You smell like sex.” Louis commented casually. “I hope you didn’t wear yourself out too much.”

“I’ve always got energy for you.” Liam promised, his eyebrows going up. Louis rolled his eyes.

“Zayn wants you to, and I quote, ‘fuck him like a punishment.’” Louis explained. Liam was quiet for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah, I figured it would be something like that.” Liam sighed. “He’s too indecisive to come up with anything else. If I fuck him like I’m angry there’s no vulnerability. It’s all just...raw.”

“Does that mean you’re going to do it?” Louis asked after a few beats of silence. Liam laughed a little bit and shook his head.

“He doesn’t know what he wants.” Liam muttered. “But I can’t make his choices for him. He’d freak out if I tried. Did you see his face when I brought the dummy? Even though he liked it, he didn’t trust me at all.”

“Or maybe he only took it because he does trust you.” Louis said, shrugging one shoulder and letting his eyes roam over Liam’s chest. It was easier than thinking about Harry. “Besides...I asked him to let us make his choices for a few days. Sex included.”

“You’re not honestly telling me he agreed to that.” Liam asked, starting to sit up. Niall whined a little, his eyes opening slightly before he wrapped himself around his pillow instead.

“I am, actually.” Louis mumbled. “I think you need to break him, honestly.”

“I’m not going to be able to break him if he’s got his guard up that high.” Liam sighed. “Besides, he doesn’t need to be broken. He’s already broken. Just like Nialler, he just shows it differently.”

“So what are you going to do, huh?” Louis asked, running his fingers through Niall’s hair and watching him squirm closer. He was still too close to the surface, too adult for the situation.

“Well, if he wants to be punished, I figure I might as well go ahead and punish him.” Liam said, shrugging one shoulder. “If rough sex is what he wants, then I’ll be gentle with him. If he wants to be shattered, then I’ll build him up.”

“You’re going to make him cry.” Louis said, almost accusing. Liam shrugged again.

“Yeah. That's kind of my only plan, at this point.” Liam admitted. “Stay with Nialler, would you? I don't want him waking up alone.”

“Alright, alright. Just not on the couch, alright?” Louis pleaded softly. “It’s hard to get those stains out.”

Liam rolled his eyes and nodded, sliding off the bed and pulling on some clothes. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure he’d be doing anything with Zayn tonight. But, there was only one way to find out.


End file.
